Questions

Instructions: There are 40 statements. You will rate each statement1, 2, 3, 4 or 5. Using the response scale below, write down the number that represents your answer. For example, when you strongly disagree with the statement write 1, if you strongly agree with the statement, you will write 5. Once you have completed the Assessment, use the scoring instructions to discover your primary style.

1-Strongly Disagree 2-Disagree 3-Neither Agree nor Disagree 4-Agree 5-Strongly Agree

1. Children usually benefit when adults make expectations clear and expect them to be followed without extended discussion.
2. When enforcing a rule creates considerable conflict, preserving the relationship can sometimes be more important than enforcing the rule.
3. I believe children benefit when adults listen to their perspective while still accepting responsibility for decisions that appropriately belong to adults.
4. As children become more independent, adults generally do not need to know very much about the details of their daily lives.
5. A child can be disappointed by a reasonable boundary without the adult needing to change it.
6. When adults have more experience than children, it is usually more efficient to tell children the best solution rather than spend considerable time allowing them to work it out.
7. If a responsibility is creating repeated tension between an adult and child, relaxing the expectation may sometimes be better for the relationship.
8. Children develop independence when adults allow them to handle most personal problems themselves unless they specifically ask for help.
9. When children encounter problems they are capable of addressing, I prefer to ask questions and let them attempt solutions before I step in.
10. Respect for adult authority is strengthened when children learn that some adult decisions are not open to discussion.
11. 11. When I can easily complete a difficult task for a child, I sometimes prefer to do so rather than let the child become unnecessarily frustrated.
12. 12. Children should learn to manage many emotional difficulties independently rather than expecting adults to discuss every concern with them.
13. Listening to a child's feelings and maintaining a reasonable expectation can occur at the same time.
14. In many situations, learning to obey an appropriate adult direction is more important than understanding the reason behind it.
15. When a child becomes very frustrated with an activity, removing the demand may be more helpful than expecting the child to continue struggling.
16. Unless a child is experiencing a serious problem, I generally believe it is best to allow the child to work things out without much adult involvement.
17. As children's judgment develops, they should receive increasingly meaningful opportunities to make decisions for themselves.
18. 18. When children repeatedly fail to meet an expectation, increasing firmness is often more effective than spending additional time exploring why they are struggling.
19. If a child strongly resists a responsibility, I am often willing to reconsider whether the responsibility is really necessary.
20. Children often become more capable when adults expect them to handle difficulties independently rather than routinely checking whether help is needed.
21. When children are capable of attempting a problem independently, I prefer to give them an opportunity to try before providing the solution.
22. Too much choice can weaken adult authority, so I generally prefer adults to make most decisions for children.
23. Maintaining harmony with a child is sometimes more important than consistently following through on a rule or consequence.
24. Children benefit from adults respecting their privacy, even when this means adults know relatively little about some areas of the child's life.
25. When children make mistakes, reasonable accountability should be combined with an opportunity to understand what happened and try again.
26. When a child is struggling, stronger expectations often communicate confidence more effectively than additional support.
27. If a reasonable consequence is causing considerable distress, I sometimes believe maintaining emotional connection is more important than following through with the consequence.
28. Adults do not need to be closely involved in children's interests, friendships, or activities for children to know that they care.
29. Children should have regular opportunities to question, imagine, experiment, and develop ideas that adults did not provide for them.
30. Children benefit most when adults teach them the correct way to approach a problem before allowing them to experiment with alternatives.
31. When a task repeatedly upsets a child, reducing the expectation can sometimes be more supportive than helping the child work through the difficulty.
32. Children can become overly dependent when adults provide frequent reassurance or emotional support.
33. Greater freedom should generally follow demonstrated increases in judgment, responsibility, and capability.
34. Even when a child has demonstrated that they can manage a task independently, continued adult oversight is often the best way to prevent avoidable mistakes.
35. A caring adult should sometimes make life easier for children when doing so can prevent unnecessary disappointment or frustration.
36. Becoming involved mainly when a problem becomes serious can help children learn to handle ordinary difficulties independently.
37. Children benefit from manageable challenges when adults provide enough support for them to remain engaged without taking over.
38. Allowing children substantial voice in decisions can make it more difficult for adults to maintain appropriate authority.
39. A warm and supportive relationship is generally more important than consistently requiring children to meet responsibilities they strongly resist.
40. Regularly checking whether children need help can interfere with their learning to solve problems independently.