When a person flips their lid (the brain) they reveal that they are unable to control themselves and they lack the skill of self-regulation. Self-regulation is one of the most pivotal developmental skills youths can learn. If we can start thinking about what’s going on in our lives and how that impacts our feelings and reactions, then we can make wise decisions that support us in reaching our goals.
What is a flipped brain? Have you heard of the saying, “He flipped his lid?” That statement is used to describe a person whose behavior is out of control. For example, the person is yelling, screaming, kicking, biting, hitting, pushing, throwing or destroying things—the person has flipped their lid. To understand this statement, we must look at what’s happening inside the person’s brain. To address this obnoxious behavior we must respond in ways that force the brain to unflip its lid.
Dr. Siegel developed the Hand-Model of the Brain Link:
https://belongpartners.org/brain-in-the-hand/
https://www.alliancebehavioralpsychiatry.com/blog/the-hand-model-of-the-brain
When discussing the way the brain works with young children, I refer to the prefrontal cortex as the upstairs brain and the limbic region as the downstairs brain.
The prefrontal cortex (upstairs brain) is the part of the brain responsible for executive functions, including high-level cognitive processes such as planning, decision-making, working memory, attention, problem-solving, and personality expression. It regulates complex behaviors, social behavior, impulse control, and emotional responses.
The limbic region (downstairs brain) is where emotions motivate us to fight, freeze, or flee when we believe we are in danger; it is our stress response. When we flip our lid, the upstairs brain disconnects from the downstairs brain, and our stress response is inappropriate because our emotions are running the show, so to speak. With our upstairs brain disconnected from our downstairs brain, we are unable to solve the problem that has stressed us out; we are in survival mode—fight, fight, freeze. The obnoxious, disruptive, or inappropriate behavior is a signal that a person is in fight mode.
As an adult we might not understand why a child is in fear and in fight mode. Remember that many of the young people in today’s world have experienced trauma, and they arrive in their classrooms “stressed out.” Trauma can come from a wide range of situations. To discover more about trauma and what it does to a child’s brain click here TRAUMA https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=f0NdwV-qSRk
Explaining the Hand-Model of the Brain
When the fingers are closed over the thumb, the prefrontal cortex (upstairs brain) and the limbic region (downstairs brain) are in contact and work together to find a balance between reason and emotion. When the upstairs and downstairs parts of the brain are connected, we make better decisions and this includes solving the problem rather than stressing out to the point that we flip our lid. However, when we flip our lid, the upstairs brain disconnects from the downstairs, leaving the downstairs brain in control, which means we are in fight, freeze or flight mode. Fight mode is the catalyst for inappropriate behavior. Freeze mode is the catalyst to withdrawal. Flight mode is the catalyst for walking out, running away, or scrolling in a phone while ignoring those trying to encourage us to make a choice.
Why Does Teaching Unflipping the Flipped Brain Matter?
The skill that supports young people and us to control ourselves is self-regulation, which is part of emotional intelligence. The goal of supporting children in unflipping their flipped brain is to lead them towards behaviors that help them develop self-regulation. When we help children create a new pattern of behavior every time they flip, eventually, they can do it without an adult reminding them. Young people have an internal sense of success when they discover that they are powerful enough to control themselves.
How Do Adults Unflip a Young Person’s Flipped Brain?
Self-regulation, a part of emotional intelligence, helps us, including young people, control ourselves. The primary benefit of nurturing self-regulation is guiding children to behaviors that build this skill, so they can manage emotions and actions independently. Each time we help children develop a new pattern when their brain is flipped, they move closer to doing it on their own. Young people gain confidence and a sense of accomplishment when they discover their ability to control themselves.
Offer the child a choice. When the child considers their options, their prefrontal cortex (upstairs brain) reconnects to their limbic region (downstairs brain), supporting self-regulation. Limited choices are effective. Learn to create problem-solving and chill-out spaces in your home or classroom through the course Using Homes and Classrooms to Build Extraordinary Youth. These spaces empower young people to make choices and practice self-regulation, helping them handle strong emotions and think clearly.
I recommend teaching all young people in your care the Hand-Model of the Brain. Give them time to practice and show them how to use the model as a way to communicate what’s happening inside their brain when they begin to stress out. They can do this without many words, for example, they can say, “my brain is right here (as they show you their hand-model of their brain, and the fingers representing the frontal lobe, upstairs brain begins flipping away from their downstairs brain).